Does God hate me????

I came across another controversial story relating to a well known and influential Pastor in the US. The long and short of the story was that although God loves parts of us, he also detests and hates other parts. Like all good biblical teachers and preachers, said pastor gave a very compelling biblical argument for his viewpoint and left me wondering whether God really does hate parts of me. However in my thoughts of God's wrath and distaste for me there was a stirring in my spirit which was uneasy at the road I was going down.

I struggle when Christians place more value on experience than biblical teaching. The thought that what I experience in my life superseeds the word of God is not something I ascribe too. However, nor do I ascribe to the viewpoint that the word of God is alien and at odds with our experience of life. We can come up with compelling bibilical arguments for anything but if it does not find it's way into real life then it is merely a theological academic exercise. Now you all know (if you read these regularly) I have a son, whilst Myself and Sara are also expecting another child in spring next year. So what has the above got to do with whether God hates me or not?

Simple, I do not hate any part of my Son. Even when he drives me crazy and tries my patience I do not hate him. Even if he disowns me and wishes me dead I will not hate any part of him (Prodigal Son parable anyone?). My experience of being a Father leads me to an understanding that a loving Father does not hate any part of his children, even the difficult, disobedient ones. Now I can already hear people saying 'Well you are merely a Human, God is different'. Now I can't seriously argue against that but I can say this. I believe everything good and pleasing comes from God, our identity is said to be of God as we are made in his image, our emotions and spirit are connected to his encourager and the Holy Spirit and we are at one with Christ. Therefore is it a stretch too far to understand that the love I have for my son and baby-to-come is a drop in the ocean and an accurate glimpse of the love God has for me?

I know there are biblical points of God's wrath and anger against his loved ones. And somewhere in the mix of my biblical understanding and experience of God, in the here and now, I have to try to figure that out. But my absolute adoration of a 2 year old called Malachi points me more to the description of God is love, to the biblical stance of John 3:16, to a father who loves me so much he will come searching for me regardless of what I have done wrong or the failure my actions often produce. The problem I have with a God who hates parts of me is that it leads to a God of rejection, a God of fear, a God of partial Love and that is not my biblical understanding of Christ.

1 John talks about how this 'God love' drives out fear, that fear has no place and cannot stand the sight of God's love. I pray my Son will never be fearful of me and he will, regardless of what he has done, find acceptance, grace, love and freedom in our relationship. With all of that crammed in, there is no place for hate, not even partial hate. And if that is how a mere human, with limited understanding of the divine things and the completeness of love feels, then I'm okay. My God does not hate any part of me... he loves me despite all the parts he could hate...

Talking about talking to others with friends...

People who know me will be nodding in a smug acknowledgement to the statement that I can blag my way out of some of the tightest discussion points. Many times have I been given a topic to discuss without prior warning and blagged my way out of a difficult conversation, in my own head believing I have come out on top of the debate, although in reality most likely not. I've encountered times when a lack of preparation or communication has led to me having to come up with a preach /talk on the spot and survived with my 'reputation' seemingly improved. One time at college, during my history A level course, I was asked to be the person to defend the position of the 2nd World War Nazi's in a mock trial, something which obviously is impossible but something I almost blagged, before quite rightly failing at. The point is simple, I like to talk and hear the sound of my own voice. The picture of many of my friends nodding, whilst rolling their eyes at the truth that I like to talk, is a sobering, yet accurate, judgement.

We've got some wonderful new friends in Norwich who came round for food a few weeks back. And over the late night dessert and tea we got chatting about how we talk to others about faith, church and all things Jesus. We got talking about how inept we often are at it, how the strategies we use often fail and whether it was all good deed , or all preaching the word. Conversations developed into whether our relationships with those outside the church are agenda driven and manipulated to 'convert' them and what an authentic relationship looks like. Then my friend Pete delivered a line I think I'll remember for a while, "do you realise we are talking about talking to other people...". The absurdity of what we were doing hit us and left us laughing whilst also in sober reflection. This statement led to us asking what would people think in our communities if they could hear this conversation....

What if all of our book reading, evangelism strategies, seeker friendly services, manipulated programmes and relationally driven techniques are not what Jesus was trying to highlight when he uttered the words 'go and make disciples' (Matt 28:19) ? What if Jesus was moving the conversation on from the earlier statements of the second greatest commandment being loving our neighbours as we love ourselves (Matt 22:39). What if the loving our neighbours, which requires us to talk to them, leads to the opening up of lives and reveals the Christ in us the hope of glory (Col 1:27)? Does this lead to the making of Disciples? I would argue it inevitably will.

As we talked about talking to others I was struck that so many times in the church we talk about loving people, yet often we don't. We don't invite our neighbours and communities into our lives to eat, share and find out about each other. We don't know what the families in our road need prayer for. We don't let people see Christ in us, the honest rawness of a Saviour who lifts us up. If I talked as much to my neighbours and those in my community as much as I talk about getting them into church then maybe there would be a few more disciples, maybe we would love each other a little more and maybe there will be that little bit more of God in our world than if I just keep talking about church.

As hard as it is for me to say, I sometimes need to shut up and get on with this loving others stuff. I think I'll ask our neighbours round for dinner in the next week. Maybe then the conversation won't be about talking about talking to others and simply be a conversation.

Please make my serving of Humble Pie extra Large......

It's been a somewhat quiet few weeks in the Blair household recently. After the hectic business of summer residential, the announcement that Sara is pregnant and the resulting morning sickness which led to Sara receiving a second holiday home in the shape of Cley Ward at Norwich University Hospital, the last few weeks have been somewhat understated. Life just carried on, dishes got dirty and washed again, as did the clothes, Malachi kept on being cheeky and adorable and friends came round for dinner. Life just simply continued.

In my normal thoughts, in my normal car on normal days I was drawn to one singular question. How proud am I? This question began to formulate after some unfortunate news and campaigning around a pub called the William Booth (For more on this please check out my friends blog called William Booth Pub). Pride is a funny thing, often positive but equally can become a negative issue of stubbornness and egocentric actions. In our churches we often comment on 'pride'. Proud to be a member, proud to be a DYO, proud to wear our uniform, proud to abstain, etc... Whilst on the surface these statements seem incredibly positive and would seemingly not raise any eyebrows there is a side to pride I have begun to notice over recent weeks, and it is simply this. Pride is divisive.

Pride rarely unites in diversity, instead it highlights differences between opposing thoughts. Pride rarely is teachable, instead it holds to it's guns and stubbornly fights without listening. Pride rarely builds others up, instead it ensures the differences in class, status or popularity are maintained. Pride can be a dangerous thing. Pride is about exalting ourselves to a place were we can nod our heads in appreciation of what we have done. Pride is about massaging our ego's which ultimately leads to the casting down of disapproval to those who don't agree with our stand point. Pride is indeed a selfish dangerous thing.

Jesus speaks about pride in Luke 18, when he tells a parable of a priest and a sinner. The priest, a proud man, highlights his differences between himself and the others, his pride in his standing only serves to massage his own ego and ensures his difference in all things class related can not be mistaken. The sinner simply humbly asks for forgiveness with a recognition that only the ONE can be proud of anything. Jesus states:

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18: 14

Humility is about exalting others before ourselves, humility is about asking the question 'maybe I'm wrong' before arguing that we are right, humility is about unity because in the end we are all sinners, humility is about following Jesus who had no pride in going to the cross and never displayed pride, when he had every justification too ,after his Resurrection, but always walked, talked and lived in humility.

I've reflected a fair amount over the recent normal weeks about my own pride. About the times I've felt proud of the job I did leading worship only to be humbled in a mistake of epic propositions from the mic stand. The times I've been proud to have the knowledge and theology only to be humbled by a young person who gets the intricacies of God's grace without even trying. I am often proud and I'm often in need of humble pie to bring me back to that place of grace and need, to that place were I realise I am no different to anyone else and nothing I do or earn will replace or pay for the love and forgiveness we are all offered.

Maybe before we tell others they're wrong and campaign against a pub because we're proud to be abstainers and that just wouldn't do, maybe before we look at another whose lifestyle could not be more opposite to the values and morals of ours and maybe before we say 'I'm proud to...' we'll ask Jesus to give us another slice of humble pie. In these thoughts I realise I'm humbled to be a dad, not proud, because my son is more than I could ever do or be but instead is a gift of grace to me. I realise I'm humbled to be a DYO, because Jesus has looked beyond my many many wrongs and seen me as right and lives in my ministry. I realise that I am humbled to be his disciple, because nothing I do or have done will ever be enough to earn me that title other than his mercy.

My orders in, a daily extra large slice of humble pie, because it tastes so much better than that pride stuff...

Running the race is only worth it at the end.....

This weekend I embarked on a fresh challenge in my life. I had entered the Great North Run, a 13.1 mile stretch of road with a few hills sandwiched in the middle, a hot sunny day which turned wet and cold and I was all alone with no one to cheer me on. I enjoy running (sometimes) and I genuinely do enjoy the challenge of long distance races, figuring out whether your body can hack the pavement pounding and deciding whether you can speed up to beat that time you want. It's addictive and it's fun.

ASICS is a well know shoe manufacturer for runners. The term comes from a Latin Phrase, 'Anima Sana In Corpore Sano', which loosely translates as 'A sound mind in a sound body'. Running does that believe it or not, it gives you this releasing of your worries, your thoughts, your stress as well as aiding your physical fitness and health. Some researches would also argue it builds character, giving us opportunities to problem solve and use our fight or flight survival instincts in ways not seen normally in our day to day lives. Running on a whole, the experts would say, is much more than being fit. On my way from Newcastle to South Shields using my running feet I had a dull feeling about the race, this race I was not enjoying, what spurred me on was getting a good time and receiving that finishes medal at the end.

2 Hours 18 minutes and 54 seconds later I crossed the line, a hard 13.1miles completed, psychological challenges overcame and I felt...... Indifferent??? I crossed the line, picked up my bag, got my medal, went to the celebratory reception with Christian Aid (Who I was running for), got in my car and drove to Nottingham. My indifference may have been due to being on my own, no one to share the occasion with, but on that long stop start drive to Nottingham I got thinking about something else. The only reason I did that race was for the feeling at the end, the joy at getting a time I could be proud of, the celebration with friends and family and the feeling I had achieved something. If I never started with those feelings and spurring thoughts then I would never have completed the race, or kept running when my legs said stop!!

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Again in Galatians 5 he states

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?

And finally the writer to the Hebrews states in Hebrews 12

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

There's one issue that my journeying thoughts from the Great North Run left me with. Maybe the reason why so many fall in this race, get fed up and settle for mediocrity in their discipleship, don't persevere, get knocked down and struggle to get back up is that we truly don't know what we're running for. We don't get this kingdom of Heaven, these glorious riches in Christ, this finish line. We can't see anything but the hills, steep inclines, cold winters of training and sore knees ahead. I have met countless Salvationists (some officers) who look as if they have ran spiritual Marathons everyday for their entire lives, so bereft of joy, freedom and fulfillment and who just don't see the kingdom awaiting them, the kingdom that they are running for today and everyday.

In this race of life and discipleship we not only need to know what we are running for, the finish line that is to come, but also that our running, our living life builds character, perseverance and endurance. We get spiritually fit, mentally strong and full of grace. This race, this discipleship is a win-win. The end will be amazing and the run, though hard, hurtful and often broken is building in us a strength which comes for him called Christ.

I left Newcastle a little deflated at not sharing my triumph with my Wife, Son and parents, but on my drive to Nottingham was deeply thankful that the race I run each day will conclude with cheers, celebrations and joy from my Saviour, my Family and everyone in between. All I have to do is put one step in front of the other and don't stop.

Who really has the 'X Factor'

So you may or may not know I love 'Glee'. I am not ashamed of this and actually think this it is rather cool (This sentence probably ruins any degree of coolness I may have, if not, then the word coolness certainly does). What I am rather embarrassed about however is a secret love of the 'X Factor'. Sure it's produced and manipulated, I'm not stupid enough to believe they filmed them in their bedrooms getting ready BEFORE the auditions. But I think it's great TV, great singers, terrible singers with drama and rudeness as the filling. TV Gold I say as do millions of viewers. Now I recognise that you may be ready to press that little cross in the corner of your window right now so I'll try to save it.....

This Saturday just gone, a young lady, sporting some leggings, an Adidas plain tracksuit top and from Fife took to the stage. Her name was Jade and she was not one of the glammed up models who 'think' they can sing, nor was she a total sob story. She was normal, she had a past (We all do) and she was looking to the future. She had a normal loving family and friends back stage and a normal persona (none of this wacky in your face stuff). And she sang, and man did she sing. The song was the emotive 'someone like you' by Adele, but it wasn't the song that was the deal breaker but her voice, the emotion and connection the voice made. The room exploded with feeling and applause. As I sat their on my corner sofa watching trashy TV, Gary Barlow opened his lips and God spoke....

Woahhh lets be clear here I am not saying Gary Barlow is God, put away the pitchforks and flaming torches and let me explain. Mr Barlow uttered the words "...that is a God given Talent, you were born to sing...". Immediately I heard something different to probably many in the UK. This throwaway comment that is said to countless people without really thinking about what is being said became a weight on me and got me thinking. The programme asks 'Have you got the X Factor?' My question became 'Who gave her the X Factor?'. If there are people who were born to sing, who have natural talent, whether on the football pitch, on the stage or in the church where does that come from?

I got a sense, as I watched this normal girl that seemingly deserved a break, that God was smiling, that God was enjoying the moment as much as we were. I was not filled with a distaste that Jade was not using her voice for worship but an appreciation that this gift of music given to Jade was being enjoyed and shared. This, if I'm honest, is a difficult one for me. I believe in Spiritual Gifts given to those who follow Christ, I believe God wants to see us use our gifts to further his Kingdom and I'm not sure whether the X Factor qualifies as extending God's Kingdom. But I cannot shake this sense that in the room after Jade had sung, and in millions of homes around the UK, there was something good, something great and that that something came from God.

I believe every person is given gifts (not spiritual gifts necessarily), that we are all bestowed with things to bless and make this world a better place, a more enjoyable, joyful, amazing place. Whether that be Rooney's right peg, John Mayers awesome guitar fingers, Eisnstein's brains or a young ladies voice from Fife. You get the gist of what I'm saying so tell me what do you think? Who really has the X factor??

What's God's view of Amy Winehouse???

So this weekend was a little crazy. Dreadfully tragic events in Norway, Liverpool got hammered by Hull City 3-0, I had a weekend off and the musical genius Amy Winehouse was found dead at her home after a suspected drug overdose. Only two of the above were news worthy, thankfully Liverpool's poor showing was nowhere in sight and will be confined to the folder 'one of those days' for the boys in red. The events in Norway and the demise of Ms Winehouse however were, and still are, very much in our headlines.

Much has been made of the comparison of the two already. How news of the death of a drug addict and out of control singer knocked the tragedy of nearly 100 innocent people losing their lives from the main news story stage. I have even heard many Christians comment negatively on the demise of Ms Winehouse whilst speaking of God's obvious heartbreak to the tragedy in Norway. As myself and Sara reflected on the crazy goings on this weekend we asked the question. What's God's view of Ms Winehouse?

Whilst we read all sorts of stuff on facebook, twitter and the uncontrollable 'free speech' world of the Web, I was struck that the overarching opinion was one of 'well what do you expect?' towards Amy Winehouse, most of which came from my Christian friends. So that spun me thinking, 'Is that really what God thinks?'. No christian, or possibly person, would deny God's breaking heart at the tragedy that unfolded on a small island in Norway, but does God's breaking heart not extend to a drug addict who had lost her way? And therefore should our hearts as Christians also not do the same?

To be honest I was appalled at those believers who had so quickly forgotten of the grace afforded to them, the forgiveness the Father had showered on them in their times of weakness and need, of addiction and lack of self control. Scripture tells me that 'all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God' (Romans 3:23). ALL!!!!! that's you, me, Rob Bell, Nicky Gumbel, Tim Hughes, David Cameron, Dr Rowan Williams, the Pope and Amy Winehouse. All have fallen short, all are in need. As followers of Christ, we are not above others, we are not morally appropriate and able to cast down judgments to those who aren't. We are loved, we are forgiven, we are to forgive and lift others up and we are about loving those who are in need.

So what does God think of Amy Winehouse? My opinion is that as Amy died God wept and whispered over her the things she could have been, that God loved Amy as much as he does you and me and that if she had / has accepted his grace he would have welcomed her with a loving fathers embrace (Luke 15). So today I again recognise and accept God's grace in my life and weep with him for those killed in Norway and for a Lady, a little younger than me, that gave the world great music but could have given so much more.

Enjoy being enjoyed

If you're not aware yet I have a Son called Malachi. He's 2 1/2 years old and swings quite easily from adorable toddler to unbearable child. Currently he's going through a bit of a boundary pushing stage and I now know why my parents used to go mad when I said "don't know" to everything they asked. "Would you like to get out of bed?", "don't know!". How can you not know if you want to get up or not? You either do or you don't. As a parent I also see myself dwelling in two camps, one of the loving parent who looks on with pride and joy and then the other parent who is constantly telling his children off or feeling embarrassed by them.

I have to admit however, the thing that sustains me and makes me realise that this journey of parenthood is worthwhile is in the joy moments. In the moments of Malachi giving a cheeky grin to try and get out of eating his dinner, or the times in which he kicks a football and pretends to fall over as if he's been fouled. Those moments that make me laugh and fall in love with my Son all over again far outweigh the moments of frustration and discipline.

Couple of weeks ago we were attending a wedding of a family member. Malachi was dressed in his waist coat and tie and was pretty much perfect all day. His excitement boiled over into the evening party when the music started playing and dancing was on the menu. Malachi loves dancing and was on the dance floor at every song, not caring what people thought of him, he simply enjoyed being. Jumping, running and wiggling his arms in a fashion you could only get away with as a toddler. Malachi was in his world, enjoying the things laid before him. I was looking on from the crowd and found myself enjoying watching Malachi enjoying. As a father watching his child enjoy the life he has was deeply fulfilling. And at this wedding, in this loud music and crazy 2 year old dance moves, God spoke.

I suddenly got a glimpse of our Father who enjoys when we enjoy. Who sometimes looks on without us knowing, when we've forgotten to pray, or not called in on him in a while he looks on as a Father and enjoys as we live our lives. As we dance to the beat of life, as we enjoy the food he's provided or spend time with the people he created, God looks on and enjoys our life with us. Too often as Christians we are serious, we frown at those that enjoy life, who enjoy spontaneity and don't attend church every week, who are friends with all sorts of party goers and clubbers whilst eating banquets, but who also love God profoundly and see the gift of life he has given us.

Jesus himself was the sort of guy we, struggle with, as did the pharisee's. His life consisted of parties, people, spontaneity and an understanding from his father, and in himself as God, that life is a gift. Jesus states:

The thief [Pharisees/ Religious Leaders]comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

This isn't only spiritual fullness but an enjoyment of all that has been given to us, that in that enjoyment we grow closer to God and recognise all we have. True enjoyment blesses others and invites everyone to the party. True enjoyment is not gluttony, greed and lust but blessings, sharing and love. As I looked on at my son doing moves not seen since Boy George in the 80's I realised that often I don't think or see God, but he is always looking on at me smiling and enjoying the life I enjoy from him. In them moments we grow closer and more in love.

Don't be scared to enjoy life, just recognise who this life you enjoy comes from...

Simplicity - Stop getting so complicated!!

Spoke to a friend of mine the other day who has been keeping tabs on my blogs and musings. I'm always keen to hear what people are thinking and to enter into a conversation about stuff that matters rather than the redundant "how are you (although I don't really care)?" sentiments. So when we got onto my blog and if he had any thoughts he gave me some incredible feedback. He told me that my thoughts and blogs were great but often he found them a too long.

After I got over my immeadiate rage and thoughts of "how dare you!!" I began to reflect on my sometimes wordy, long over complicated thoughts. Yes I believe it is important stuff I want to dialogue about, the gospels are about life and death after all, but, was I over complicating a simple God?

A scripture immeadiately came to mind and it is this scripture that all of our questions, answers, complicated theologies and intrisic philosophical frameworks need to be born out of. It is this scripture that all of life, justice, hope and faith comes from. It is this scripture that all our understandings, whether they be grand or more impressively childlike, about God need to flow from. And this scripture??

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love" 1 John 4:8

I desire so much to get into the compexities of God being love and what that means but i'm not going to. Instead I'm going to choose to know him and therefore know love. We all crave simplicity in our lives and we have a God who is simply LOVE. God bless you all.

The God in the corner

I was in Peterborough again yesterday. I'm starting to feel like Queensgate shopping centre is my second home after the countless times I have been there over the last month. Part of my job is to facilitate summer residential camps and this year we are joining with East Midlands division to create a joint school. Therefore Peterborough is the half way point for myself and DYO Andy Whitehouse to meet. Yesterday we spent 6 Hours in Starbucks planning the residential camp. Now I like Starbucks, I have a Starbucks card, I like the free refills, I like the scrumptious BLT sandwiches. But 6 HOURS!!! there is only so much whirring of the grinding machine and milk frother one can take. By the end of the meeting I felt like I had gone 1 round with Mike Tyson (could have put the cliched 13 rounds statement, but lets be honest, one round is generous to me and my breakable frame). The meeting however opened some new insights for me and was definitely worth the fatigue.

During our marathon, caffeine fuelled, meeting, myself and Andy were discussing this years bible studies for the small groups at our residential camp. We got into quite a deep conversation about where God often speaks and celebrates with us and whether that is where we look for him. It came about as we were discussing Moses and the burning bush (Exodus 3) and the grand gesture in a quiet corner of the desert.

I see often in our journey with the church and as the church that we are continually looking at ways to bring God into the limelight, to bring him into a place of the X Factor final, Royal Variety Show or O2 Arena. We create church services that look like west end musicals or a coldplay concert, we have celebrity worship leaders and speakers who sign our bibles and we strive to emulate the numbers of the football stadia and night clubs around the globe. We have a grand Saviour in Christ who deserves to be given a place of prestige and honour, that I can agree with. But there is a huge however looming over us that I see in scripture.

No christian would deny the titles of King of Kings and Lord of Lords that Jesus is attributed with. We would rightly bow our heads and fall prostrate on the floor before him. We acknowledge his throne and wish that others would too. But what are the actions of this prestige saviour, how does he respond to the public proclamations? As myself and Andy chatted away about this stuff I was struck with a characteristic of Christ I knew of but had never really taken hold of. Jesus operated in the corners of society, in the places of the loner, the places not even fit for beggars let alone the King of Kings. He was born in a stable, He was homeless, His friendship circles were not the political powers or smooth talkers but the despised, hated and spat on by all in society. He was not liked by everyone, He did not win the phone vote for Israel's Messiah factor and He was not understood. On the surface he was not, what even today we understand to be, the king of kings. If Prince William is not allowed to laugh in public during certain occasions then the King of Kings was acting very below par indeed.

Run scripture back to Moses and Exodus 3 again. The burning bush was not for all to see, it was not in front of all the Midianite people, or the Egyptian people. It was in a quiet corner of a desert and only for Moses. In that moment the wheels of redemption began turning for the Israelites in Egypt. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is on his own up a mountain and meets with the Lord not in the grand and the powerful but in the quiet whisper in the corner of a mountain, as he comes down from the Mountain he anoints another great prophet in Elisha, Elijah's eventual successor. In Genesis 40 it is in the corner of a prison cell that Joseph listens to God and explains the dreams which leads to his redemption. It is in the prostitute Rahab in Joshua 2 that the Lord is proclaimed and her family are redeemed in a small house in the corner of a great city. In Matthew 6 Jesus encourages his followers to pray, fast and give in secret, in the quiet corner of your heart. Although there is equally occasions where God is glorified in Public, on the stage we might say. In reading the breadth of scripture we witness a God who operates in the corners, who often is not seen and missed because we're looking at the stage or the lighting rig or the PA.

In the Salvation Army, and indeed often in the wider church, we Love events. We rejoice in mass gatherings whether it's the ISB120, ROOTS, Soul Survivor or Congress. In conversations over coffee yesterday God challenged me that whilst these events are brilliant, whilst these events can often fortify our faith we can often miss what God is rejoicing about. Luke 15:10 says:

"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents"

It is conceivable that at all these "Christian" events we attend, that all those attending are also believers. The sober thing is that should there be a forgotten, young, normal, lonely woman, sitting on her bed all alone in her tiny box bedroom because she has no friends and her family are unconcerned about her, who declares to God " I believe", Heaven bursts with more rejoicing over that one woman than the 1000 listening and worshipping to music and watching the lighting display. That's the God in the corner, who is infinitely more worthy and powerful, and rightfully will take his place on the throne as described in Revelation. But for now he is off his throne operating in the quiet corners of our lives that we might know him and be loved by him. I'm simply glad my God found my corner and that Starbucks do good coffee.

How am I driving? Please Call 0870 8355 463 (0870- TELL-GOD)

So guess what I did last week? More driving!! I feel like I know the intricate nuances and noises of my car more than the cryptic toddler declarations of my son Malachi when he's singing 'Our God is a great big God'. I was stuck on the A47 to Peterborough (again) last week. The A47 is one of those roads in which your sat nav believes you will get there in just over an hour, but thanks to wonderful automotive vehicles such as the HGV, Tractors and Toyota Pirus', you end up losing an extra hour of your life into the abyss known as the East Anglian Road system. Last week the vehicle being used by the abyss was in fact a van.

Now vans normally come equipped with dare devil stunt drivers who believe their vehicle is in fact the size of an old mini with the power and speed of a Bugatti Veyron, but for some unknown paradox in the universe this driver was more James May than The Stig. Said van driver would consistently do 10 miles under the speed limit and never overtook, even the tractors that only have a single speed of 'slower than a mobility scooter' were happy to have cautious van man sitting behind them until they decided to pull over. Man was it infuriating and boring. On my long and monotonous journey I noticed that the van in front had one of those 'How am I driving' notices on the back. You know the ones with a number to call in case the van driver is in fact Evil Knievel who finds all manner of death defying ways to over take you on a country road. And this sign got me wondering. What if when we became Christians we too where given a sticker to be visible to others asking the question 'How are we living?'.

Would all of our skeletons be exposed, would every bad word, curse, frustration or lack of holiness be brought to account? Would the church be a much more holy and Christ like place if we were publicly called to account through the 'How am I living? scheme'. How great would it be if we were all to have these stickers. Then the lies, hypocrisy, gossip and damaging ways of the church could be dealt with and Christ could be evident in his body. I continued with this train of thought for a few days, thinking through how this sticker scheme could transform the face of the church and how the motivations of many would be turned back to Christ and Christ only. I was proud of myself for hearing God's challenge to live as though we were a part of the 'How am I living' scheme and giving me an insight for my next blog. However I was to find out I had got it wrong!!

At church on Sunday we spoke about the story of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11-12. We could of focused on David's actions, his rebuking by Nathan, his adultery, lack of holiness and need for the 'how am I living scheme'. But we didn't, we looked at the faithfulness of God, the love of Christ on the cross and the acceptance given to us which is undeserved and totally unwarranted. And in amongst this story God corrected my thinking. You see by creating a way to scare people into living the way Christ calls us to is not the way a loving father wraps his arms around the prodigal sons and daughters who return home. To condemn people for how they live is not the way of a loving friend who welcomes all, including the prostitutes and the dregs of society, and loves them first and foremost above everything else. To ask people to call 0870 -TELL GOD every time another Christian Brother or Sister steps out of line is not the behaviour of Christ's loving body.

This is not to denounce accountability or challenge, the holy spirit holds us to account as does the body of Christ, his church. But God challenged me to see that the man driving the van maybe wasn't driving it safely because that was his character and identity, but because he was fearful of those who may condemn him or rebuke him. God Challenged me with 1 John 4: 18, the love we receive from the Father through Christ drives out fear, and that this love, not fear, is the basis of seeing change in people and forgiving them when they don't. This love is the foundation of challenging the idolatrous whilst being loving friends with those Christians who have worldly idols. This love is about transformation of the believer not control of their behaviour.

I thought by the end of this blog I would be challenging anyone who reads these words to live as though you had a 'how am I living sticker' on your back. But I feel a harder but more fulfilling challenge, and one God has challenged me with, is to live in Christ's love as though you don't need one.

A Fathers justice

So this is the last day of our Live below the Line challenge. If you're not sure what the challenge is please read my earlier post this week entitled 'Give me joy in my heart'. The challenge has been an interesting one and a time of serious reflection for myself and Sara about how we use our money, how we oppress others without even thinking about it and how much God has blessed us. There have been times were the lack of food and boring water have simply become normal and times were the challenge was almost unbearable. Yesterday was definitely a day of the unbearable.

I had an important meeting to discuss some youth work challenges we are facing and this meeting occurred in Starbucks for a total of 3 hours. The coffee, the muffins, the panini's, the fruit toast, oh man was it hard. The glass of iced water all of a sudden felt like I was drinking crude oil. Those I was meeting with all had their selection of cappuccino's, lattes and espresso's banded around the table and when lunch time came my rice with carrot and broccoli was more like a mouthful of sawdust. It was hard and it was also tempting.

I found myself in this meeting thinking only of myself, self indulging in my own fantasies of what it would be like to taste that caramel shortbread with a hot perfectly made cappuccino after a mozzarella.. and.. meat ball.... panini... mmmmm (Let's pause a second whilst I salivate on that thought which will not aid my current hunger in the slightest),

Anyway, back in the hungry world, what I found myself doing was I was becoming self obsessed in this place of hunger, and this got me thinking. If my son was doing the live below the line challenge (he's 2 years old and enjoying the ball pool currently at home), would I be so obsessed with my own hunger? You see I can't help but feel that I would be filled with concern, worry, anger and frustration if my son was living off £1 per day. I have chosen to undertake this challenge, as a 2 year old he wouldn't have chosen this challenge and we would have been placing this feeling of hunger, uncomfort, tiredness and oppression on him. I would be angry that he couldn't eat his usual crumpets, that he would not be able to dive into the varied choices we have in our world, that he could not experience a full stomach and know that we have provided for him.

And this is where my thoughts have taken me during this week. God is a loving Father who gets concerned, angry and frustrated at the oppression his children are forced into. There is no need to look into scripture regarding God's provision, as the sheer amount of food discarded on a weekly, if not daily basis is enough proof that provision of food is there. We also only need to look at the distribution of wealth and resources in the world to see that once again provision for everyone is there, just not distributed fairly. We know this stuff, and we've known it for years, yet still we seem to not act, to not consider our actions and our part in the problem. Our lives become so embroiled in ourselves, in what we get to eat, in how we can get by and how 'poor' we are that we fail to hear the justice cry of a loving and concerned Father for his 1.4 billion children, who have less than what we spend on a trashy burger from the golden arches.

Another aspect I have found in this place of self indulgence is that we justify. As the wealthy in comparison to the majority of the world we justify our spending, our extravagant yet pointless use of money on takeaways, clothes we don't need, or films we 'must see'. As martin smith,  in the song 'our God reigns', sings "but still my Chinese takeaway could pay for someones [medical] drugs'. I found myself in the midst of this challenge justifying our spending with phrases like 'we deserve a treat sometimes', 'it's all relative' and 'we're not as bad as some'.

Now this isn't about wallowing in a place of self guilt and self flagellation but is about a recognition that we, as the church, are called to make a difference, to stand up, to act. To receive the blessings bestowed on us with a thankful heart that loves our neighbours who live in extreme poverty, both in thoughts and actions, whether that is down the road or on another continent. This is the cry in Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25. Our Father in Heaven is their Father in Heaven and he is about justice for all. He stands up for the poor and oppressed not because he favours them above others but because they are treated unjustly and he is about justice. And this justice is to be displayed in this world, in the practical outworking of life not just the eternal destination of the soul.

As a Father I want my son to be treated justly, I want him to have enough food to grow, to realise he is blessed and to accept that blessing with a thankful heart. Our Father wants all his children to have enough food to grow, to realise we are blessed and to receive that with a truly thankful loving heart. If we are to take up the call to follow Jesus, to become his disciples, we have to take up his Father's call for Justice in our hearts, to stand up for the oppressed not contribute to it, to speak for the voiceless not mute our hearts, to feed the hungry not keep their food and to clothe the naked not indulge in our fashion.

God is not about guilt tripping, the love of the father and son on the cross proves that he is not a guilt tripping God. He is a God of action, a God of Justice and a God of love. After this week I for one am going to start being a father of justice and strive that my life reflects this choice, my prayer is that all his followers will choose that too and that with this call for justice our world will finally begin to move towards being a world of justice.

Give me joy in my heart...

As I write the title I'm singing the well known and worn out children's song 'Give me oil in my lamp'. Now obviously this isn't being done in the open plan office I currently sit in, it is in my head and there it will remain for the foreseeable, if not distant, future. But joy is what I've been thinking through over the last couple of days and more potently realising I do not have in abundance.

Myself and Sara have undertaken the live below the line challenge (for more info on this click here). This challenge is to live off £1 per day for all our food and drink needs in order to raise sponsorship and awareness for the 1.4 billion people around the world, who also live off £1 per day but do not have a choice about it. It's been an interesting journey so far and hunger has become as normal a feeling as breathing currently, with the temptation to have that 'sneaky treat no one will know about' almost at an unbearable level.

I came into work this morning to pray with our DHQ team to be greeted by bagels, jams, marmalade, toast and filter coffee. I settled for a water, grrrr. It may seem easy to do , live off £1per day for a week, but it's not. Simply because you cannot choose, you do not have a vast array of tasty treats to choose from, or enjoy the debate about what to eat this evening. You eat what you have, and you do not eat lots of it. The oppression you feel is quite daunting and tiring and is obviously nothing in comparison to those who are locked into this way of life with no choice for most probably their entire life.

In this process of rice, pasta, apples and digestive biscuits I noticed I had become rather cranky (not the crane from Thomas as Malachi would have you believe). My fuse had shortened, my politeness had wained and Mr Hyde surfaced regularly informing me of my true colours. They say that when we are tired and hungry that is when we are most likely to get annoyed, frustrated and angry. Well I'm tired and hungry.

So what has 'give me oil in my lamp', which, by the way, I'm now singing again in my head , got to do with hunger and tiredness?

When I consider those brothers and sisters of faith who live in these places of extreme poverty I do not think or see in them frustration or anger, in fact often we witness joy. My wife visited Zambia one year on a mission trip and regularly says the joy evident in the Christians within these poverty stricken communities was a real challenge to her. So this is the question I'm challenged on in this LBL challenge. Do I have this kingdom joy in my heart or is my joy dependant on sky+ recording my shows, food on my table that I enjoy and a nice warm bed?

Reading Luke 6:20-26 I'm challenged about what brings me Joy and how I interact with my wealth. Because if I am truly reflective, even from a worldly perspective I am rich beyond imagination. I have a two story home with 3 bedrooms, gas, clean water and electricity on supply, Cupboards with food to last us for a month, most of which we will probably throw away at some point. My life is rich compared to at least 1.4 Billion people. Yet in all this wealth am I missing something, in all these well fed stomach's are we missing something.

This kingdom Joy is one that rejoices when oppressed for Christ, that is content with hunger, can last the night without a home, can live in extreme poverty yet will be generous, loving, polite, hospitable and accommodating to others. Again if we truly reflect this kind of joy surely is treasure from heaven? This kind of joy we would all want, this kind of kingdom we would all desire to be a part of. To be happy and loved even when everything worldly went wrong.

To finish this blog brings me to where I'm at right this moment to understanding this joy. To gain this joy, to partake in this kingdom, to really get how to live life in all it's fullness we have to let go of the wealth, to not depend on those things which stop us receiving this joy because they show us a false sense of security in ready made meals, fast food outlets and flat screen TV's. It isn't about beating ourselves up, but about letting ourselves go in order that we will embrace God's way of living. Realising that in the west we are incredibly blessed in order to bless, it's about being people of joy whether there;'s food on the table or not.

My Prayer in this LBL challenge: "Please Lord, give me Joy in my heart" - Let the singing commence!!

Can you hear the Music?

In my life as a DYO i get to visit many places both in and outside of Anglia. On Sunday I was in Sudbury attending one of their youth fellowship evenings and being made to feel old because I don't know the latest Bruno Mars song (the woeful rendition of 'More than words' by INXS didn't help either, with raised eyebrows from the 'yuf' whilst parents nodded in appreciation). Last week I drove to Bourne on Monday, across to Cambridge on Wednesday and down to Ipswich on Thursday. Truth of the matter is, I spend a lot of time in my car.

However, despite this fact that i drive more miles than I would care to count, I have a very small selection of CD's in my car and with Radio 1 determined to play no more than three songs the musical entertainment is somewhat lacking. This isn't helped by my forgetfulness to change the CD before I embark on another marathon trek across the death defying roads that are the fens. For example, I have had the same CD playing over and over and over and over and over again for at least three weeks. To make matters worse this CD is a BONUS CD that you find in your Soul Survivor Live album and only consists of 6 very short songs totalling a massive 20 minutes!!! So as I drive to Ipswich this CD repeats 4 times, as I drive to Bourne this repeats 8 times. Safe to say I know the songs, I know the music, I'm bored of the music, the music no longer bothers me, in fact I don't even recognise it exists.

It was on one of my many journey's last week that something about this struck me. As this monotone CD with it's now predictable choruses and (un)improvised melodies played over me I thought 'can I hear the music?'. Sure I know I can 'hear' the music but do I hear the melodies, the words? Am I enjoying and immersed in times of worship with these songs which are sung over me? The words sung by the worship leaders at this recording of 'momentum' week are words of truth, power and love. The music that acommpanies these words communicate passion, purpose and promise (yes I thought hard about making sure they all began with a P, I'm a youth worker afterall). Yet these songs of praise to Christ hadn't lost any of these traits in the never ending repetition that is my car, somehow I had lost the eyes to see and the ears to hear.

The world is a numbing place, we misplace our wonder in becoming more 'mature', we lose sight of miracles through 'becoming aware', we dumb down the sacrifice through 'fashionising the cross', we forget God's will through planning (and sometimes controlling) his kingdom. I look at Malachi, my 2 year old son, and wish to dwell in his world, were bugs are not pests but a new creature to play and run away from, were planes are magical creatures flying in the sky, were God is seen in the blossoming flower, the game of football, the 'nemo' fish. You may think this is ignorance, I would say it is bliss.

Repetition can be a dangerous thing. The more life plays over us, the more we forget life is designed for us to play in. Food isn't something that just appears in our refrigerated supermarkets for consumption but is, as Elton John eloquently puts it, part of the circle of life. The wonderful design of creation which Genesis 1 vs26 points out we are to take part in, both in looking after the world and reaping (not abusing) the goodness of creation given by God. 



When did Iphones become more exciting??



It is not only the practical elements of creation we begin to overlook either as we struggle to hear the music. Prayer meetings become places where you would rather do something else, band practices become about ensuring this song or piece is played right rather than God is present and partaking in our worship, planning events becomes about our strategy and clever thoughts rather than hearing God's voice speaking into HIS will for HIS kingdom. In short, God is squeezed out as we numb our ears and eyes to the music of his glory playing constantly over us and around us. Jesus sums this up in the parable of the sower in Matthew 13 vs 14-15 in which he explains his use of parables and poignantly says;

"For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes"

I'll finish by telling you about where I was going on that journey. I was meeting up with a friend for some advice and guidance on some challenges I am facing. In our conversations over bad coffee he followed up God's challenge to me (which he knew nothing about) and challenged me to see Christ in everything I do. To stop knowing this information with my head but to see it with my heart that I am God's co-worker and that Christ goes before me, is behind me and is with me. I was challenged to hear the music.

On the way home from that meeting I turned up this repetivitve monotone predicatable CD to the Tinchie Stryder level of volume and worshipped as if I had only just encountered the music and my God for the first time. In that moment of abandonment in the car, looking slightly obscure and crazed to my fellow drivers, I heard, I saw and I smiled. God's music is wonderful and all around us, if we'll only open our ears and hear.

'To be a Gleek, or not to be a Gleek'; Is that really the question?



In my travels visiting the varying degrees of life in this part of the Church called The Salvation Army I have not found something more polarising of people's views other than the topic of Glee. Glee: TV gold or popular trash, musical genius or cheesy outdated anthems. It appears no matter who you are, Glee very much has the Marmite factor attached to it, which has resulted in a powerful and determined faction of society now affectionately labelled 'Gleeks'! Rejoiced by those who are and mocked and scorned by those who aren't.

Therefore to Gleek or not to Gleek was certainly my question some 18 -24 months ago when Sue Sylvester's Adidas track suit wearing scouse fashion sense first hit my TV screen. Now to make the Gleek journey more interesting I must point out that I hate musicals. There is something about watching grown men and women dealing with the tragedies and dilemmas of life before breaking into song in one seamless continuum that just doesn't sit right with me. In my mind, sing or act, pick one not both. But with Glee it was different, for some reason the use of popular anthems, which reminded me of my childhood growing up in the 80's, just worked alongside the bizarre yet hilarious humour. To others it was pointless, boring and g(l)eeky, to me it was brilliant, entertaining and cool. After a few weeks of uncertainty and 'conversion' I was hooked, I had become a Gleek.

So why on Earth am I telling you this seemingly pointless aspect of my life. Well lets just rewind  to yesterday. Myself and Sara had been away all weekend working at The Salvation Army's Roots Conference. There we were challenged about our voice being a voice of hope and transformation, seeing God in every aspect of our lives. We returned home to our Sky+ player filled with TV goodness, one of which was of course Glee. As we settled into our sofa with our Gleek mugs (losers I know), I was suddenly challenged with one question. Am I ashamed of our Saviour?

You see I encounter people who will mock, scorn and berate me for my Gleekiness (if that is even a word) and I will respond with a defence of my glee friends, the humour, the music. I will defend that which I believe is one of the best TV shows ever!! (Big statement I know). I also realised that I am not a gleek by saying I am, I am a gleek because I watch every week expectantly, I own the albums, I'm engaged in the humour, I want to know if Mr Schuster and the Miss Pillsbury will finally get together. I am a gleek in deeds not just in words.

The big question is am I as committed to my Saviour as I am to Glee?

Do I surround myself only with those who believe in Jesus so I don't have to stand with him (and love with him) in a society that ever increasingly rejects him? Do I truly heed his words that I should expect to be mocked, scorned and berated for my faith (John 15:20)? Do I strive to ensure my life is alive with him, for him? That I am Christian not because I say I am but because my actions and commitment to the cause show that I am (James 2). Do I read scripture expectantly? Do I worship him unreservedly? Do I want to know what he has planned for me next and how this life will pan out for me with his Spirit guiding me?

Jesus said "Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." Luke 9: 26

I am not ashamed to be a Gleek, but am I more willing to defend that position and live out that position when compared to my life with Christ? The heart of this question may be relevant to more of us if we were to honestly reflect on areas of our life. I believe the reason for this juxtaposed dilemma is simply that living out our faith results in transformation, which from experience, is challenging, difficult and hard. Defending a TV programme doesn't. Living out and standing beside, and with Christ, in this world changes our core being, it shines light in the dark places of our existence we believe we only know. Not being ashamed of Christ is less about speaking out in the world for Christ and more about allowing Christ to speak into our own world.

Glee doesn't change me, I move towards it's value for cheesy 80's pop and strange humour so that I will defend it's greatness. The beauty of the Gospel is that Christ moved alongside us (John 1) and fights for our position, that we may be transformed into his likeness and have life in all it's fullness (John 10:10). We don't go to him but he comes to us.

Why is it easier to defend my gleekiness? Because it doesn't affect me or ultimately matter. Christ's Love, Sacrifice and Resurrection is a much more worthy part of my life to defend and align myself to.

"To be a gleek, or not to be a gleek?"; that really isn't the question... 'To follow or not to follow?' now that really is...

We're All Screaming Toddlers

So I had an inspiring time with a colleague from Youth For Christ and a shorter than normal car journey (only 40 mins) yesterday. I return home full of passion and thoughtful reflection on the Love of Christ through the cross, ready to announce to my wife, Sara, the riches I have received that day from my communion and commuting. I get home and no one is home, the house is quiet and not a sound is heard... sure enough two minutes later in walks Sara with our friend and my son Malachi rabbiting away about the 'choo choo trax'. Sara's face looked as if she had just spent all afternoon with the Jedward twins and that man from the gocompare adverts. Safe to say it was Daddy's turn to look after Malachi for a couple of hours.

For the proceeding two hours my son left the adorable 'choo choo trax' in the hall and became a cross between a high maintenance celebrity (what Malachi wants Malachi gets!!!) and a whiny, sniffy, Oscar performer (whoa is me for I cannot have that toy!!). Man it was hard work. The incessant screaming, the trying to stay calm, the frustration that nothing would calm him down or appease him. It finally led to a couple of time outs in which the decibel levels almost certainly have resulted in letters from the local council, warning us about our future conduct and consideration towards our neighbours.

But in this time of frustration, banging my head against a brick wall and screaming toddlers came a beautiful whisper from a loving Father. And it came in the eye of the storm. As Malachi's crying and screaming could get no louder or more intense I placed my frustration and anger (if we are truly honest it is difficult to not get angry within frustration) to one side and chose to love, placing my hand on his chest, looking him in the eye and telling him that I loved him. I wished I could say the crying stopped there and then, it didn't, but it did come down from the piercing window smashing frequency it was at. I continued to tell him I loved him and it was okay and after a while came the "cuddle daddy" and "kiss daddy", Love won.

It was in that moment my Father showed me his grace and the meaning of that famous passage in 1 John 4, that he is about LOVE not fury and FORGIVENESS not condemnation. Many times I have been that screaming toddler, wanting my own way for my summer school, or my event, or my ministry, me, me, me, me, me.... I've cried and shouted at him when I've been hurt. I've hit out at him when I feel he hasn't been there. And as my decibels get there loudest, as the eye of the storm of my fury at God increases, my Father places his hand on my heart and looks into my very being and tells me 'I love you'. It takes time to wear me down but eventually i reciprocate that love, eventually I mirror that Love of Christ, to Christ, for Christ. Eventually that Love is all I know, for I know even in the storms and screaming I am loved, and therefore all I know to do is... to... Love.

God will challenge us, God will rebuke us, God will transform us and scripture is clear that hard times are the earthly reward for following Christ, suffering is part of the package here on Earth. But, and it is a joyful glorious'but', God will always, always put the challenge to one side, put the rebuking to one side when we are at our most raw and hurting, and display his everlasting and complete love to us. I thank Christ for 1 John 4, I thank Christ that his Gospel is not what we make of it or display it as, but is a Gospel that loves even when we are screaming toddlers, because if we are honest we're all screaming toddlers in need of simply being loved.

Entering the New Frontier.....

Wow so I'm a blogger, always wondered what a blogger looked like, thought like and wrote like.

For me there's something incredibly challenging in writing about your thoughts and actions in a way which doesn't seem irrelevant, obnoxious or rude to the few who may or may not read these words. I was never big into the diary thing, writing down all my nuances and strange thoughts, and it was only after my gap year (I was 21 at the time) that the concept of self reflection came onto the radar. So the idea of reflecting in words in a public open way, in which people have the ability to comment on my less than eloquent thoughts, is frankly less appealing than eating the barbecued hot dog that fell on the ant ridden patio on Sunday afternoon (for the record I didn't eat it, nor did I quietly whistle and place the said hot dog back on the barbecue).

So why on earth do it?

Simple, to dialogue.

To share and receive the riches of my life in Christ with those I care about, friends, family and the whole church with it's many crazy ways. To show that the mundane driving, driving, driving and more driving is in fact an exciting, risk filled, missional focussed existence that on the surface seems pointless and monotonous but inside is profoundly challenging and enriching. I reject wholeheartedly this understanding that Christ is only present in the worship service whilst wearing sunday best or the mountain high, 'spiritually laid out on the floor', time. But know that he is present in the times of washing the dishes, driving for another hour and playing with my son Malachi. This is the heartbeat of Romans 12, not that every moment of our life needs to be spirtually intense but that the Spirit is present and enriching our seemingly fleeting and plodding along lives.

It is a joy to work for the church and build up the local expressions found in Anglia. The challenge is that this joy remains, that this fire does not dwindle into embers amongst the wind, downpours and times of solitude as a DYO. That is where the Spirit for the mundane, who points out the glorious riches of God to me whilst doing that same journey for the 20th time, has become so important to me. To show that the fruits of the spirit; love, joy and peace, are not destined only for the spirtual elite, who have their houses in order and have this constant never failing feeling that they have a higher purpose (as opposed to the 'what on earth is going on' feeling that is often evident in the Blair household). But these fruits; love joy and peace, are evident in those who cry out to Abba in the challenge that is life, seeking simply to dwell with Christ whenever they remember.

So here you will find whats going on in the life of this learner DYO and disciple, whether exciting or most likely not. Here you will find the ways Christ is living in the nappy changing, book reading, glee watching (yep gleek I am) life that is his, not mine. Here you will read about the journey, not were I'm going or have been, because the journey is the place of transformation. Here you will read about the entering of a new frontier with trepidation and unrivalled anticipation.... Post #1 completed, journey underway...