Does God hate me????

I came across another controversial story relating to a well known and influential Pastor in the US. The long and short of the story was that although God loves parts of us, he also detests and hates other parts. Like all good biblical teachers and preachers, said pastor gave a very compelling biblical argument for his viewpoint and left me wondering whether God really does hate parts of me. However in my thoughts of God's wrath and distaste for me there was a stirring in my spirit which was uneasy at the road I was going down.

I struggle when Christians place more value on experience than biblical teaching. The thought that what I experience in my life superseeds the word of God is not something I ascribe too. However, nor do I ascribe to the viewpoint that the word of God is alien and at odds with our experience of life. We can come up with compelling bibilical arguments for anything but if it does not find it's way into real life then it is merely a theological academic exercise. Now you all know (if you read these regularly) I have a son, whilst Myself and Sara are also expecting another child in spring next year. So what has the above got to do with whether God hates me or not?

Simple, I do not hate any part of my Son. Even when he drives me crazy and tries my patience I do not hate him. Even if he disowns me and wishes me dead I will not hate any part of him (Prodigal Son parable anyone?). My experience of being a Father leads me to an understanding that a loving Father does not hate any part of his children, even the difficult, disobedient ones. Now I can already hear people saying 'Well you are merely a Human, God is different'. Now I can't seriously argue against that but I can say this. I believe everything good and pleasing comes from God, our identity is said to be of God as we are made in his image, our emotions and spirit are connected to his encourager and the Holy Spirit and we are at one with Christ. Therefore is it a stretch too far to understand that the love I have for my son and baby-to-come is a drop in the ocean and an accurate glimpse of the love God has for me?

I know there are biblical points of God's wrath and anger against his loved ones. And somewhere in the mix of my biblical understanding and experience of God, in the here and now, I have to try to figure that out. But my absolute adoration of a 2 year old called Malachi points me more to the description of God is love, to the biblical stance of John 3:16, to a father who loves me so much he will come searching for me regardless of what I have done wrong or the failure my actions often produce. The problem I have with a God who hates parts of me is that it leads to a God of rejection, a God of fear, a God of partial Love and that is not my biblical understanding of Christ.

1 John talks about how this 'God love' drives out fear, that fear has no place and cannot stand the sight of God's love. I pray my Son will never be fearful of me and he will, regardless of what he has done, find acceptance, grace, love and freedom in our relationship. With all of that crammed in, there is no place for hate, not even partial hate. And if that is how a mere human, with limited understanding of the divine things and the completeness of love feels, then I'm okay. My God does not hate any part of me... he loves me despite all the parts he could hate...

Enjoy being enjoyed

If you're not aware yet I have a Son called Malachi. He's 2 1/2 years old and swings quite easily from adorable toddler to unbearable child. Currently he's going through a bit of a boundary pushing stage and I now know why my parents used to go mad when I said "don't know" to everything they asked. "Would you like to get out of bed?", "don't know!". How can you not know if you want to get up or not? You either do or you don't. As a parent I also see myself dwelling in two camps, one of the loving parent who looks on with pride and joy and then the other parent who is constantly telling his children off or feeling embarrassed by them.

I have to admit however, the thing that sustains me and makes me realise that this journey of parenthood is worthwhile is in the joy moments. In the moments of Malachi giving a cheeky grin to try and get out of eating his dinner, or the times in which he kicks a football and pretends to fall over as if he's been fouled. Those moments that make me laugh and fall in love with my Son all over again far outweigh the moments of frustration and discipline.

Couple of weeks ago we were attending a wedding of a family member. Malachi was dressed in his waist coat and tie and was pretty much perfect all day. His excitement boiled over into the evening party when the music started playing and dancing was on the menu. Malachi loves dancing and was on the dance floor at every song, not caring what people thought of him, he simply enjoyed being. Jumping, running and wiggling his arms in a fashion you could only get away with as a toddler. Malachi was in his world, enjoying the things laid before him. I was looking on from the crowd and found myself enjoying watching Malachi enjoying. As a father watching his child enjoy the life he has was deeply fulfilling. And at this wedding, in this loud music and crazy 2 year old dance moves, God spoke.

I suddenly got a glimpse of our Father who enjoys when we enjoy. Who sometimes looks on without us knowing, when we've forgotten to pray, or not called in on him in a while he looks on as a Father and enjoys as we live our lives. As we dance to the beat of life, as we enjoy the food he's provided or spend time with the people he created, God looks on and enjoys our life with us. Too often as Christians we are serious, we frown at those that enjoy life, who enjoy spontaneity and don't attend church every week, who are friends with all sorts of party goers and clubbers whilst eating banquets, but who also love God profoundly and see the gift of life he has given us.

Jesus himself was the sort of guy we, struggle with, as did the pharisee's. His life consisted of parties, people, spontaneity and an understanding from his father, and in himself as God, that life is a gift. Jesus states:

The thief [Pharisees/ Religious Leaders]comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

This isn't only spiritual fullness but an enjoyment of all that has been given to us, that in that enjoyment we grow closer to God and recognise all we have. True enjoyment blesses others and invites everyone to the party. True enjoyment is not gluttony, greed and lust but blessings, sharing and love. As I looked on at my son doing moves not seen since Boy George in the 80's I realised that often I don't think or see God, but he is always looking on at me smiling and enjoying the life I enjoy from him. In them moments we grow closer and more in love.

Don't be scared to enjoy life, just recognise who this life you enjoy comes from...